Traditionalist Bird

If he Cheats, you weren’t being Lovely Enough

Lori Alexander posts this quote:

“To win your husband’s heart, become lovely. You can be fat or skinny and still be lovely. You can be young or old, smart or dumb, but you must be lovely if you want to be loved. Don’t assume you have rights as a wife. Earn your place in his heart and he will be faithful to you. Men don’t fish in another lake if the fish are still biting in the one they’re familiar with.” {Michael Pearl}

The fact that this comes from Michael Pearl says enough. If you don’t know who that is, its only a google away.
My first thoughts on this is any woman who is cheated on must not have been lovely enough or else her man would not have cheated. The woman simply must have not earned a place in his heart, and therefore it is all her fault. The man has no accountability for his sin. In the real world, it doesn’t work so neatly. Sometimes, much to the gasp of godly women, a woman can be as beautiful, lovely, godly, and respectful as she can be, she can be the embodiment of every positive word in the dictionary but sometimes he will still cheat, he will fail, he will fish in another lake, he will sin. A man has his own agency.

For fun lets do the old switcheroo and say, “Don’t assume you have rights as a husband. Earn your place in her heart and she will be faithful to you.”. I imagine men would be in an uproar over that.

Leaving that aside, this comment left by Amanda brings up a great point by mentioning Anna Duggar:

la1

Truly, Pearl’s quote suggest then that Anna must not have won a place in Josh’s heart. Why else would he fish in another lake? If she was lovely, all the cheating would have never happened, right?
So, how is Lori sure that in the majority of marriages it does work this way? Has she interviewed more than half of married couples in America? Suggesting women have a better chance at preventing men from wandering treats them like little boys who need a mom to watch over their every move. That, ultimately is the goal of godly women to be the mother of men, women and the world.  You observe traditionalist long enough and you see it time and time again.

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