Angry Bird · Feminist Bird · Traditionalist Bird

Are Men Responsible for Woman’s Femininity?

From a red pill woman:

“My defense of monogamy was built on the idea that femininity is like a crop that only grows in a climate of committed sexual relationships: introduce casual sex to the environment, and the crop fails. This places an element of responsibility on men and society as a whole as the “farmers” of femininity.”

In other words, in addition to the plethora of male responsibilities, he is all responsible for growing her femininity. If he is not monogamous or has an affair he then causes her femininity to wilt. This is nonsense to me and almost a threat to men in that it implies “if you cheat, I won’t be feminine and its your fault”. However, I will say this fits nicely with the inverse red pill concept that women inspire masculinity. It is women who make men masculine. It is said that a woman has to first submit before he can be a man. Likewise, with this theory it sounds like a man has to be faithful in order for a woman to be feminine.

A side thought–I would think monogamy would be less likely to make women feminine. After all, don’t women tend to let themselves go after marriage under the thinking that “hey, I got him in the bag, he isn’t leaving me now, so why should I go out of my way to look nice”. On the other hand with any form of non-monogamy, she is in constant competition with other women and therefore motivated to always look and act her best.


4 thoughts on “Are Men Responsible for Woman’s Femininity?

  1. After I read this yesterday, I remembered reading this post. I think the woman who wrote this has a legitimate point. Leaving the racial part aside for the purposes of your discussion, this rings true (partially, if not completely):

    Women Can’t Be Feminine By Themselves!!

    In order for true femininity to thrive, a masculine force MUST be present in order to PROTECT, INSPIRE, and PRESERVE that femininity. Because at it’s core, femininity requires a yielding, softness and receptiveness that can only be SAFELY expressed when there are MEN who understand how important it is to step up and slay the dragons necessary for it to flourish. The very men who complain that black women aren’t feminine are the same ones who make it unsafe to express it. In a patriarchal society, the masculine MUST be present FIRST before femininity can manifest.

    If it is true that the woman is the weaker vessel, and if it is true (since we’re both Christians here) and if it is true that woman was created for man, then shouldn’t it follow that in a world where many women have gone their entire lives having not experienced the shelter of a truly masculine presence, that it might hinder their ability to tap into the fullness of their femininity?

    I am not in complete agreement with her (and I don’t think acknowledging an inconvenient truth is blaming men) but I think it’s worth considering. I don’t subscribe to the notion of any man or woman as an island able to thrive and be their best on their own without the proper nurturing at a young age and support in relationships. This truth and personal responsibility are not mutually exclusive.

    Just curious your thoughts.


  2. I think there may be a bit of difference since the quote I used ties it all into monogamy.I was trying to say a woman should be feminine whether he is monogamous or not and not rely on his sexual preferences to sustain her femininity. Whether one says a non-monogamous man is by virtue then not masculine is up for debate. I don’t think that alone determines a man’s masculinity–but the quote I posted is basically saying it does. If a man is non-monogamous he is therefore not masculine and therefore robs women of their chance to be feminine. I dunno if I am explaining myself well, but you got me thinking.

    “the masculine MUST be present FIRST before femininity can manifest.”

    I like that and think dominance needs to be present first before women can submit, but on the other hand there is this back and forth game of….”I can’t do my role until you first do your role”. This results in neither the man or woman doing their part, blaming each other for their lack of femininity/masclinity or lack of submission/dominance and there is a stand off.


  3. You’re right, Stone. I was thinking about the interplay between masculinity and femininity in general -based on your post title- when your post was about the ability of a non-monogamous man to erode his woman’s femininity is some way. That was my mistake.

    I don’t agree that a non-monogamous man isn’t masculine. Not righteous or ethical maybe, but who outside of faith communities has ever declared masculinity based on those things? More than that, a woman can be feminine without ever having been in a relationship at all.


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