Godly Women · Traditionalist Bird

Lori Alexander Featured in the Daily Mail

Lori Alexander is featured in the Daily Mail today. Of all the things she has written, this one is quite mild and I don’t understand why its getting so much attention. If they think that is bad, wait till they read about how 8 months old need flicked and how people who cut and abuse themselves do that out of guilt for not being spanked as children.

A word about expectations destroying relationships. Likewise, I have found having expectations that Christians will be kind and set apart from the world has caused a lot of disappointment. So now I don’t expect much from them. They are no different than any other person.

I think Lori saying “you married him to be your protector and provider” hits on some of the recent discussion here. Ya know, isn’t marrying for those reasons selfish?

 

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138 thoughts on “Lori Alexander Featured in the Daily Mail

  1. LA says, “You married him to be your protector and provider.”

    I would say my husband is my “protector and provider” but that’s not why I married him, as up until we met, I was doing an OK job protecting myself and providing for myself.

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  2. “I was doing an OK job protecting myself and providing for myself.” That makes you a feminist, dontcha know!

    A girlfriend of mine who has a more passive husband told me once that there was some rustling outside their bedroom window. She was scared, but her husband sent her out to check on it. Some protector! And as you can imagine she didn’t find that very attractive. Traditionalists make the mistake of thinking that just because he has a penis he is going to want to and/or know how to protect.

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  3. Stone said:

    “A girlfriend of mine who has a more passive husband told me once that there was some rustling outside their bedroom window.”

    I’ve always kind of hated that example (sending your husband out to investigate scary noises). When we’ve had a fugitive fleeing through our neighborhood with the police in hot pursuit in the middle of the night, we stayed snugly inside our home and didn’t open the door.

    The only time we’ve had a scary noise in the middle of the night inside the house, we both went to investigate. It turned out to be that a metal exhaust pipe for the dryer had fallen loudly. Our kids were on that side of the house, too, so I wasn’t going to cower in the master bedroom while both my husband and the kids were potentially in danger.

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  4. Two things:
    –Lori’s had paid household help. She doesn’t have skin in the game, so to speak.
    –Ironically maybe, someone on another blog posted a link to a Good Housekeeping marriage book from right around the 1950s or 1940s. And it featured a man getting up from the table after a meal and putting on an apron to help his wife clean up. And this example was provided as “hey, if this works for your marriage, by all means, hubby can and should help out in the kitchen!”

    So it’s not even about a 1950s thing like all the critics are making it out to be anyway.

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  5. I know a couple who was carjacked. When the carjacker pointed the gun at the wife, her husband jumped out of the passenger seat and ran away!

    And does anyone remember the coward who ran away from the Colorado theater shooting, abandoning his fiance and baby? He put the baby on the floor because he was afraid that the baby’s cries would attract the gunman’s attention. Then after he made it out of the theater he got in his car and drove away. A teenager saved his baby.

    A lot of men are cowards that haven’t been exposed.

    Liked by 1 person

  6. I found the story:

    “Despite being shot, she had managed to escape the theater with both children.”

    http://www.thedenverchannel.com/news/movie-theater-shooting/during-confusion-of-aurora-theater-shooting-jamie-rohrs-left-behind-his-baby-girlfriend-daughter

    “Legarreta said she had shrapnel in her leg from the upper thigh to the ankle. While she was on the floor, she said, she could see her 4-month-old baby on the ground near the stairs.”

    http://abcnews.go.com/US/couple-colo-theater-shooting-escape-baby-toddler-tow/story?id=16821447

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  7. In Ken’s defense post of Lori, he writes:

    “This is our story. That as I began to invest in my disobedient wife, and she in turn invested a heart to please me, at times, a disobedient husband, God worked on both our hearts and turned our selfishness into a true and abiding love.”

    So, like I’ve always said, it looks like he did something first and then Lori responded. He began investing, he initiated, he lead, and therefore she responded in return. Therefore submission is a response. She did not kick start this whole thing by submitting first.

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  8. I dealt with the “please investigate the scary noise” thing for a while, and felt like a silly weirdo during our first year of marriage, quickly learning that I was just a fraidy-cat, apparently. Then one night when I was up with our little one, I heard an unmistakeable noise and decided to wake him anyway and ask him to check it out. He reluctantly got up and then all of a sudden started yelling really loudly, “I have a bat!” (Which he didn’t have but kudos for yelling loud! He he) and then as I cowered in fear in the room, finally he came back told me that he looked out the door and there was a drunk guy trying to open our door and he freaked out a bit and just started yelling. He he we called the police and everything. Another night I woke him after hearing a scary noise, he dismissed me, and next morning we discovered that one of the trees in our backyard that was SUPER tall that I’d been kinda paranoid about falling on our house for a while HAD fallen into our back yard. It’s tippy top was inches from our back door; a shorter tree near our house had thankfully re-routed it just enough that it missed the house. So…yeah, occasionally scaredy wifeys aren’t totally off their rockers.

    Liked by 1 person

  9. It’s late and I may have more to say on this tomorrow but the consternation that any man would suggest that husbands could be doing wrong by not being more mindful of helping out around the house rather than totally focusing on the “sins and rebellion” of women, is typical Dalrock and crew. They’re fine about going on and on ad nauseum about women’s sins this and women’s rebellion that, but to suggest that the godly leader might possibly fall short at times, the horror!

    No doubt the “submissive housewife” fans of Dalrock will show up to talk all about how they would never, ever ask their husband to lift at finger at home or extol their virtue of being a former feminist turned Red Pill Woman.

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  10. I find it interesting that dalrock’s wife spends her energy hectoring other women instead of making suggestions like “hire a maid” or “i’ll come over and help you out!” or “hey, would you like my older child to come over and help you a couple hours a night?” I.e., suggestions that don’t involve the husband doing more housework, but would also solve the problem and offer opportunities for hospitality and social bonding.

    I did read the comments this time and there’s some hilarity in there. My favorite was the guy with the Asian wife, live-in full time childcare and housekeeping from mother-in-law saying “my wife finds doing housework a privilege!” Sure, when you don’t have to do very much of it ever.

    A close second was a comment about how it’s “low-risk” and not really a big deal if screwups happen with, say, cooking or watching children. I thought it was a mockery of the dalrock commentariat, but poe’s law struck again.

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  11. “No doubt the “submissive housewife” fans of Dalrock will show up to talk all about how they would never, ever ask their husband to lift at finger at home or extol their virtue of being a former feminist turned Red Pill Woman.”

    Yes any moment now, enter RPW stage left to proclaim how NAWALT she is. That is a term that use to be widely noted and I don’t here it at all anymore. A woman would flounce in saying, “look at me, I am not like that” and be challenged.
    Like some of the birds explained here
    http://no-maam.blogspot.com/2012/06/guide-to-birdwatching-in-manosphere.html

    BUT NOW, women do that and they are glorified.

    Just saw this comment:
    “Sad that women can’t do the housework cheerfully. A man’s time is more valuable doing anything, but housework. Wouldn’t she be better off asking her husband to spend more time with the kids and paying attention to her emotional needs?”

    So all a woman needs to do who is looking for a self esteem boost and pat on the back is to come in and say–I always cheerfully to housework and they will fall at their feet. It doesn’t matter if true or not. She said it so it must be. As deti explained to us we are always to take comments at face value.
    Further on this comment–LOL. AS IF! AS if she would be better off asking for help with children or her emotional needs. IF that were the case they would play the same script, other women are whispering in her ear about how her husband needs to spend more time with the children and be more emotionally sensitive. Heck, wouldn’t deti just call that selfish to expect a husband to be there for her emotional needs. And women just have feeeeeeelings, emotional needs are not real.

    S

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  12. “….“i’ll come over and help you out!” or “hey, would you like my older child to come over and help you a couple hours a night?” I.e., suggestions that don’t involve the husband doing more housework, but would also solve the problem and offer opportunities for hospitality and social bonding.”

    Exactly that. I saw a meme graphic thingy that said something along the lines of “praying is less of a hassle than taking action”. It is so easy to just wipe people’s problems aside and clear their own conscious by telling to themselves or publicly, “I’ll pray for you”. Maybe the answer to the prayer is YOU taking action to help them. Also that gets back to my Titus 2 local community idea. Why is there not a volunteer network of older, retired women, offering to help. There could be a national organization with local chapters donating time, if only 2 hours a week, to a family in need.

    “My favorite was the guy with the Asian wife, live-in full time childcare and housekeeping from mother-in-law saying “my wife finds doing housework a privilege!” Sure, when you don’t have to do very much of it ever.”
    Absolutely classic, like the guy who once said having kids is 99% fun (punch line-he had the kids part time, I think weekends only too). So of course its 99% fun, you are the fun weekend dad.

    Liked by 1 person

  13. Quotes”
    “Lori seems surprisingly free of most ‘feminist’ dogma, yet Ken is an easily terrorized beta male…..”
    Again, however does she do it given Ken allegedly has authority over her blog.

    “I’m surprised there’s no marital strife between them due to him not considering her to be “assertive” enough, or her being “too much like a doormat by doing all the housework” by herself.

    Tragic. He caught a pearl, but would apparently be just as happy with a ball bearing.”

    Again, people read a few things about someone and assume that is the whole story. He has not done his research. There are tons of marital strife stories out there about them. “He caught a pearl…” Not for those first 14 years or so…

    Like

  14. TPC said:

    “A close second was a comment about how it’s “low-risk” and not really a big deal if screwups happen with, say, cooking or watching children. I thought it was a mockery of the dalrock commentariat, but poe’s law struck again.”

    Oh my goodness.

    It’s like they have no imagination at all.

    Like

  15. Right on cue….

    Katharine_Di_Cerbo on June 27, 2016 at 3:26 am

    I agree with this post by and large. I also really got a kick out of the link to the judgybitch post.

    That said, I don’t think the housework issue is always a jealousy issue today in 2016 because in many areas of the United States, it is very, very difficult to support a house on one income, and women end up working and doing most of the housework. In these situations, I do think the women are just exhausted and cranky about their very little downtime. Of course this is the result of women entering the workforce in the first place, bidding up the cost of living, but nevertheless the point remains.

    I feel very lucky because I work from home and my husband earns most of our money. I do the vast majority of the housework in my house happily, and I think because I don’t have a bad attitude about it, my husband graciously helps out with things when he sees I’m tired or there is a lot left to do.

    It’s amazing how far being nice will take you.

    Of course I’m still a bitch sometimes, as I was this morning when I woke up to candlewax he had spilled and not cleaned up all over our porch. But I try not to be😉

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  16. Although looks like admitting she can still be bitchy lost her major points. Told it’s inexvusable. Yup in excusable for women to not be perfect and have feeeeeelings.

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  17. Stone said:

    “Told it’s inexvusable. Yup in excusable for women to not be perfect and have feeeeeelings.”

    Translation for Dalrock guys: you wake up in the morning to discover that your wife spilled candlewax all over your new truck and didn’t clean it up or tell you. How do YOU feel about it?

    Like

  18. “Of course I’m still a bitch sometimes, as I was this morning when I woke up to candlewax he had spilled and not cleaned up all over our porch. But I try not to be😉”

    Ah yes, in addition to claiming “I don’t have a bad attitude so of course, my husband helps me”, we get the meek confession and admission that well “I can be bitchy sometimes.”

    The confessions of RPW humbly confirming their womanly rebelliousness are even worse than the “Look at how submissive I am” posts. Do their husbands know they spend their time online grovelling around for kudos from strange men on the internet?

    Like

  19. Interesting exchange between Dalrock, that Cane Caldo character and Lori’s husband, Ken on the Always Learning site. The manosphere guys were trying to instruct Ken on watching how he words things because it just ingrains feminist thinking when a man admits that husbands could be disobedient or women get the idea that they’re not wrong in thinking a husband should help out a little. I think it was Cane who tried to accuse him of being too egalitarian. I wonder if this means he will take Lori off his blogroll because apparently Cane is disappointed in how Ken runs his marriage. I thought it was a manospherian given that husbands were the ones to decide how their homes were to be run……unless the husband decides different from what they think.

    They accuse female submission bloggers of putting ideas of what marriage should look like in the heads of other women instead of telling them to ask their own husbands…..and then they write posts about what marriage should look like. How many women looking for online information to help their marriages read manosphere blogs and decide that, “Hey, maybe my marriage is falling apart because he’s not leading like these guys say he should be.” They compare their husbands to them and decide he’s “doing it wrong” because it doesn’t look like how Cane or Dalrock says it should.

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  20. On the one hand, it’s wrong and emasculating for pastors and “churchians” to tell husbands what to do differently.

    On the other hand, it’s right for the guys to tell Ken what to do differently…

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  21. Mrs. H,
    Great observation. As if these men don’t do their own whispering. And really the nerve to be telling another man how to run his household.
    No, Lori will not be removed from any blogrolls. This only makes her look better. Lori doesn’t think like Ken in their eyes. Why she is an independent, intelligent thinker who doesn’t fall for feminism or equality.

    I really think all of this housework controversy in manufactured to distract form the more hardcore stuff on her blog. Really of all the topics for the interwebz to get worked up about, this is minor.
    I watched a documentary on lying and it covered the whole Tucker Max fiasco. I didn’t really know the extent to how he initiated bad publicity about himself just so he could sell more books. It was he who on purpose would whip people up in a frenzy to get people talking about him. Allegedly Lori has a book in the works so I see some of this as trying to drum up publicity. Get her name in more households so when the book is released people will go “remember that women whose post went viral, well now she has a book…can you believe it!”

    Over at Dalrock, I see that Katherine brings up a good point regarding the men saying you don’t get bitchy with your boss.
    She says basically, well yeah what prevents me there is the fear of getting fired. See in marriage when you promise FOREVER, you don’t have much of an incentive to act perfect all the time. You can be as bitchy as you want and he can’t leave you, right? Vows and all.And its true its a totally different dynamic when you live with someone, you let your hair down more and they see all sides of you. Its the irony of those you love who see the worst of you.

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  22. On loris post today she says..”.By the way, look who commented on a Facebook thread that I posted about my viral post on the UK newspaper. You might say I was a bit excited! :)” then what follows is a screenshot of comment from Debi Pearl. The Pearls are idols to them. The same giddiness of getting excited over a boy band.

    Like

  23. should not have gotten married.
    Red Pill Latecomer on June 27, 2016 at 9:12 am

    I do respect my husband, but as I live with him everyday, I am aware of both his faults and his strengths. There are no people on this earth who I respect in an unequivocal way – everyone is flawed. If you spend enough time with ANYONE, it’s impossible to keep them on a pedestal.

    Wrong and irrelevant.

    You should give your husband unequivocal respect. Respect does not mean to pedestalize or worship. Respect is a tone of voice and a demeanor in behavior. Respect means to treat a person with the dignity and deference their status entitles them to. To speak to them without an angry edge to your voice. No sarcasm. No eye rolling.

    Nobody is perfect. So what? A general might lose battles. Even so, he remains entitled to full, unequivocal respect from his subordinates until the day he’s demoted. Subordinates do not get to sigh or eye roll when the general speaks. To do so is not only disrespectful to him. It undermines the whole foundation of the military. Just as disrespecting your husband undermine the marriage.

    To respect your husband means to treat him properly, to speak to him in respectful tones, despite any flaws he might have. I’m sure you want your husband to continue treating and speaking to you in a respectful manner despite your many faults and mistakes.

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  24. sipcode on June 27, 2016 at 9:33 am

    Right on Dalrock.
    My take has always been that Lori is really lead by the spirit and Ken is caught up in the arguments of the world –

    Iow, Lori is morally perfect. Since she is a woman more spirtually pure.

    Like

  25. sipcode on June 27, 2016 at 9:33 am

    Right on Dalrock.
    My take has always been that Lori is really lead by the spirit and Ken is caught up in the arguments of the world – which is actually our church today: blow off scripture as they like. Thanks for confronting this. I do want to point out that through all the curves that Ken throws, Lori stands amazingly on scripture. She defers to her husband even if he is wrong and gives him the glory and LETS him be wrong. This is a great lesson that 1 part per million teach. I challenged her on a topic once and she said that was the way she had it originally written but Ken told her to change it. True, true submission. On one hand we may want Ken to get out of Lori’s way [BTW, never stop correcting him]. On the other hand, she is subtly teaching sensitive-to-the-spirit women how to truly be submissive and respectful to their man.

    Meant to post whole comment…

    Like

  26. Stone “No, Lori will not be removed from any blogrolls. This only makes her look better. Lori doesn’t think like Ken in their eyes. Why she is an independent, intelligent thinker who doesn’t fall for feminism or equality.”

    You’re probably right. Ken did say in his comments to the guys that Lori takes a harder stance on these things than he does. She’s great for “letting Ken be wrong.” Instead of saying Lori should soften her stance if Ken thinks she’s too hard, they pity Lori for being with such a weak beta. Any other woman not taking the same stance as their husband would be labeled rebellious and told she should kneel before him in repentance.

    As far as Lori being excited over Debi Pearl commenting on the issue, gag.

    On men commenting on how you don’t get bitchy with your boss, that right there is the rub. Husband’s thinking their relationship with their wives are an employer/employee, general/subordinate type of relationship. No wonder they are divorced or live with cranky women. Thinking of marriage in these terms devalues and actually lowers the status of marriage. Marriage and family is the institution that these other worldly relationships are there to serve and to be informed by.

    If you don’t mind, paragraph 2212/13 of the Catechism of the Catholic Church explains this well. It says “The fourth commandment [Honor your mother and father] illuminates other relationships in society. In our brothers and sisters we see the children of our parents; in our cousins, the descendants of our ancestors; in our fellow citizens, the children of our country; in the baptized, the children of our mother the Church; in every human person, a son or daughter of the One who wants to be called “our Father.” In this way our relationships with our neighbors are recognized as personal in character. The neighbor is not a “unit” in the human collective; he is “someone” who by his known origins deserves particular attention and respect. Human communities are made up of persons. Governing them well is not limited to guaranteeing rights and fulfilling duties such as honoring contracts. Right relations between employers and employees, between those who govern and citizens, presuppose a natural good will in keeping with the dignity of human persons concerned for justice and fraternity.

    In other words, marriage and family is the basis for all other relationships to be based on, not the other way around. Marriage is unique and distinct from all other relationships. It has an intimacy and companionship that must not be reduced to a “unit.’ It has a higher calling and purpose than boss/employee or general/subordinate and should never be compared to these lower status type worldly relationships.

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  27. Grateful bride enters from stage left carrying her fishing rod to fish for kudos by meekly confessing her former rebellious-woman ways and to empathize with the men’s position.

    “I follow Lori but what you are saying makes total sense. I work full time and it is hard to keep up with work, the house and on top of that I’m a pastors wife. I had to come to the realization a few years ago that the reason I am working full time is I was not submissive to my husband in the early years of our marriage and to make a long story short, it created a situation where I need to work. It was a hard pill to swallow but I am so thankful my husband has stepped up as a good leader so I can embrace my role and I’m also thankful he stuck with me when I was such a bitch.:)”

    Like

  28. See never heard of grateful bride. They all come out of the woodwork, waiting in the wings to claim “I’m not like that”. With grateful bride, she says he “stepped up” isn’t that shaming? The horror he stepped up to lead and in turn she submitted and her bitchy ways were no more. she didn’t change without him taking action first. Yet she will take all the credit and they will give her all the credit.

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  29. Just to make clear, my point about worldly relationship being lower in status than marriage, is a different point than the one being discussed about being nicer to a boss than your husband.

    I have a personal beef whenever I see submission in marriage being compared to military or employment relationships. It’s upside-down IMO because the world has lost respect for the status of marriage and family. What we “do” out in the world is seen as more important than what we “do’ for family in many cases. Family is re-ordered so that everyone can serve business and government rather than those entities serving family.

    As far as treating a boss better than your husband, it’s true we should speak well to family and others alike, however, it’s the very intimacy of family and the permanence (as someone mentioned above) that allows us to really reveal how we feel and it often means we don’t always go about it in as careful and measured ways as we would with a boss. I’m sure there are many husbands who speak to their bosses kindly and then turn around and are rude to their wives.

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  30. Stone “. Yet she will take all the credit and they will give her all the credit.”

    Yep, if you read further she caught the kudos she was fishing for.

    Like

  31. Random question –why do women have to be joyful and happy with housework and men don’t have to have the same positive attitude about providing? I guess their is a verse somewhere. I see some very negative attitudes from the men on Dalrock about the hell of providing.

    Like

  32. oh I see
    sipcode says:
    June 27, 2016 at 10:04 am
    Gratefulbride
    Nice to hear a pastor’s wife use the word ‘bitch’ — for it is real.

    So its nice to hear a pastor’s wife say bitch or admit she can be a bitch, but not soooo much for Katherine.

    Like

  33. And lift off! Amongst the many comments stuff like this
    posted here.
    Cane Caldo says:
    June 27, 2016 at 1:36 pm

    @Katharine

    I find it telling that several of the people here twisted my words around simply because I’m a woman and they wanted to rail against me despite the fact that I expressed agreement with the post and even regret that I got irritated with my husband over something stupid.

    Stop bitching about your husband to strangers under the phony cover of “expressing regrets and agreements”. This is not the place for secret acts of passive-aggressive character assassination.

    The tag-team effort (whether planned or not) by Katharine and Kappa(sour) is so tired and lame. Does anyone even believe Kappa(sour)’s story? They shouldn’t.

    Of course red pill women talking about their sex lives online to stranger men are never corrected. That is perfectly suitable.

    Like

  34. Oh and not passive aggressive character assassination. ..the men can go online to vent shit about their wives, but again that’s different. No one cares if these wives are being unfairly assassinated.

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  35. Linx says:
    June 27, 2016 at 1:00 pm

    @ Katharine
    “I find it telling that several of the people here twisted my words around simply because I’m a woman and they wanted to rail against me despite the fact that I expressed agreement with the post and even regret that I got irritated with my husband over something stupid.”

    Simply because you are a woman? Lot of word twisting needed to come to that conclusion.

    It’s true and its not because she is a woman. Rather, it’s because she is not a red pill woman and didn’t say all the right things.

    Like

  36. Mrs. H said,

    “I’m sure there are many husbands who speak to their bosses kindly and then turn around and are rude to their wives.”

    My dad once told me that it’s better to yell at a wife than a boss, because a wife will forgive you but a boss won’t.

    His work partner shared that same view.

    Like

  37. Stone said,

    “Random question –why do women have to be joyful and happy with housework and men don’t have to have the same positive attitude about providing? I guess their is a verse somewhere. I see some very negative attitudes from the men on Dalrock about the hell of providing.”

    That is a really, really interesting point.

    I have to check out soon, but I strongly suspect that if I trawl through Proverbs a bit, I would find some verses on that. I also read Rabbi Lapin’s Thou Shall Prosper in the last year, and that’s chockablock with stuff about the dignity of labor and earning.

    Like

  38. Like clockwork, Kappa is written off as a troll, because of course her story can’t possibly be true, not even a tiny part. She clearly doesn’t respect her husband and that is reason for all her woes.

    Dalrock says:
    June 27, 2016 at 3:34 pm
    Kappasweet takes trolling to a new level, and we should at least appreciate the skill involved.

    The first 80% of her comment was focused on explaining how entirely untypical her own situation is, with the unspoken implication that we are unfairly lumping innocent women like her in with the other 99% of complaining wives.

    The final 20% of her comment was spent explaining that the other 99% of complaining wives shouldn’t be called out because in those cases it was the husband as well.

    Like

  39. Another prediction– Sam and PM are about to get trampled on. I cringe everytime. These people have no idea what they are stepping into.
    Sam says in part: “The red pill seems as much a me-centered philosophy of selfishness as feminism.” Uh-oh!

    PM says:
    ” My wife and I both do housework. We have 3 kids under 5 years old so my help is needed. The way I see it, refusing to help your wife when she clearly needs it is a sin. It would be just as sinful for her to refuse to help support the family if for some reason I couldn’t do it. The Bible doesn’t say that wives do all of the housework. The Virtuous woman had a maidservant and earned money. When the budget allows, we will hire someone to help with cleaning. If she still wants me to do housework after that then we can start talking about envy of men. However a husband should make a good faith effort to solve the practical problems before assuming that his wife wanting help is a sin.”

    Like

  40. Ah, the love of Christ just shines forth from the commenters on this Godly Christian Husband’s blog inspiring readers (especially female readers) to be their best selves for the Lord.

    Feminist Hater says:
    June 27, 2016 at 2:29 pm

    “All woman have the potential to be a bitch, it is something that each woman must learn to control lest it overpower her and turn her into a nagging cuntbag. One who can never let anything go, who must always control every situation, even if she isn’t the one who has to put in the work. She becomes a nagging supervisor, with her beady eyes laser focusing on any small flaw, no matter the consequences. That is a bitch. Feelings have nothing to do with it. Control and a demure attitude will go a long way in subduing this feral animal.”

    Like

  41. Ewww.

    I’ll quote Dalrock a little:

    “The resentment does not come from an excess of work or an unfair distribution of work, but envy of men.”

    Years ago, I noted that my dad liked his work a lot more than my mom liked her housework and that it was a really good idea to get out of the house on a Saturday and go do farm work with my dad in the 40 degree Pacific NW drizzle, rather than staying home and doing housework under my mom’s supervision.

    It was only years later that it clicked for me and I realized what the difference was–my mom did not really have much control over housework. It had to be done, no matter what, whether she liked it or not (and it really wasn’t her thing). Meanwhile, my dad was free to choose from a vast smorgasbord of different kinds of work, and so of course his different gigs suited him just fine (even though there would be less pleasant aspects to any particular job).

    My mom likes being a shopkeeper much more than she ever liked housekeeping. There are pretty things to arrange artfully, there are people to talk to every day, she has employees to tell to do stuff, she’s a medium-sized fish in our small pond, she has her husband’s respect, and she makes money and can afford nice things. Whereas nobody ever noticed the housecleaning and my dad was never that fond of her cooking…And, miracle of miracles, I have seen my dad help a little in the kitchen!

    Liked by 1 person

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