Angry Bird · Godly Women · Traditionalist Bird

Let’s Talk about Emotions (aka Feeeeeeelings)

Lori’s post today brings up a lot of discussion points. A common trait among godly women and the manosphere is the disgust for female emotion and feelings (aka feeeeeelings). They are very bad things, never to be trusted, yet a double standard always applies. Men are allowed to have feeeeeeelings. Or sometimes referred to as neeeeeeds when talking about men. Women feel. Men need. For example–women feel they want sex, but men neeeeeed it.  Onto the Lori quotes:

The reason women are flocking to Jesus Calling and many of the female Bible teachers and writers is because they appeal to their emotional nature. Women love to feel things. If they don’t feel in love with their husbands, they will often divorce them to find another man they might feel in love with. They may not even feel that they love one of their children but they must regardless of their feelings. Women love to feel emotional over the Lord and His Word. I am not saying this is wrong but it shouldn’t be our goal. Our goal should be to obey the Lord by doing what He has clearly told us to do in His Word without depending upon our emotions to lead us.
I went to a wonderful retreat this past weekend where a close friend of ours led a women’s one-day retreat. Carol Hopson said, “Emotions are not dictators; they are indicators of our need to run to Jesus.” Women absolutely have a tendency to allow their emotions to dictate their behaviors. Emotions and feelings aren’t always right and often lie to us.
What is this with women’s retreats and why do they feeeeeel they have to go anyway? They must get some good feeeeeelings out of it, right? She quotes a woman who from a google search looks like she writes “feel good” devotionals. She runs “Heartsong Minstries”, complete with a “feel good” title. Her website has a warm, fuzzy vibe.
When Fifty Shades of Grey was popular, I read some blogs and women praising this book and how much better their sex lives were from seeing this movie. They were being led by their emotions and not by love for their husbands. I am sure the women who had “great sex lives” from this movie don’t have great sex lives anymore because emotional highs don’t last very long.
In typical godly women style she presumes to know all about couples sex lives.  There are articles upon articles, some Christian, that tell couples to spice up their sex life. If a movie such as that was the spark needed, I don’t see why it is wrong. Something good happens in a couples life, but it doesn’t count because the source of positive change was not a godly source. Doing something out of love is godly, doing something out of emotions ungodly. What if you do something out of love and emotions, yikes, do they cancel each other out? Maybe sex done on those terms is just an empty shell. It all gets so confusing.

If you want to grow strong in the wisdom and the knowledge of the Lord, the only path is through His Word, not feel-good, warm and fuzzy devotionals, female preachers, emotions, and books. God’s Word is convicting, challenging, and encouraging so read and listen to Christian authors, teachers, and male preachers who teach convicting, challenging, and encouraging messages.

If that is case, then women should also not turn to warm and fuzzy blog posts? If the only path is through the Word, these godly women are distracting women with all their fluff posts and cutesy, feel good fonts and imagery.  I don’t get how she can say His Word is the only path, but then say a few words later its OK to read other authors and teachers (such as herself of course) as long as its convicting, challenging and encouraging. Whether a book or article is any of those things is very subjective.

I trust this post will not leave you feeling warm and fuzzy.

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19 thoughts on “Let’s Talk about Emotions (aka Feeeeeeelings)

  1. “In the manosphere, if a woman expresses how she feels, it’s always a wrong and irrational response because women aren’t capable of reason. If a man expresses his feelings, they are legitimate because men are rational so the emotion is always a rational response to the issue at hand.”

    Yep. I grew up with that nonsense, it was ingrained in me. Once in the heat of the moment my husband sputtered, “I’m not even trying to be rational here!” I honestly think that’s the day I really fell in love. No one ever told him that being rational was allegedly superior to actually having feelings about something.

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  2. Mrs. H said:

    “In the manosphere, if a woman expresses how she feels, it’s always a wrong and irrational response because women aren’t capable of reason. If a man expresses his feelings, they are legitimate because men are rational so the emotion is always a rational response to the issue at hand.”

    Yep.

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  3. “…emotions considered feminine are feelings and emotions considered masculine are rationality. ”

    In the manosphere, if a woman expresses how she feels, it’s always a wrong and irrational response because women aren’t capable of reason. If a man expresses his feelings, they are legitimate because men are rational so the emotion is always a rational response to the issue at hand.

    This is BS, of course.

    Liked by 1 person

  4. Eavan said:

    “The manosphere is a hotbed of overwhelmingly emotional males.”

    Right. The manosphere is mostly about male feelings.

    “So what is an emotion? Anything a woman expresses?”

    Yep. I’ve certainly seen a number of cases where a female poster in a manosphere laid out a purely rational argument and got swatted down as being “emotional.”

    Liked by 2 people

  5. “Emotions in themselves aren’t bad.”

    Exactly. However, my point about defining emotion is that at places like Lori’s and the Christian manosphere emotions considered feminine are feelings and emotions considered masculine are rationality. The manosphere is a hotbed of overwhelmingly emotional males. So what is an emotion? Anything a woman expresses? Or are emotions a type of sensation/information that all humans experience in varying degrees?

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  6. Mrs. H said:

    “Emotions in themselves aren’t bad. (or dangerous as Donal Graeme called them in a recent post) It’s how we react to them through our reason and will that can lead to very good actions like self-sacrificial love or very bad actions like murder as a result of rage.”

    Yeah, emotions are like the “check engine” or “check tire pressure” light. They don’t tell you everything you need to about a situation, but they do indicate when it’s time to investigate the situation and see what’s going on.

    “A person who has received a decent education in moral development with a healthy dose of sentiment that is geared towards seeking the good is more likely to govern emotions properly and in the event that they fail, their conscience will lead them to seeking forgiveness and making reparation. Likewise, a person whose upbringing was disordered will have distorted reasoning when confronting their emotions and may also lack shame or guilt as a result of sin.”

    Yeah. The last few years I’ve been realizing that I identify with people who say that in their family of origin, anger was the only acceptable negative emotion. Fear was bad, sadness was bad, but anger was OK.

    It’s a rotten thing to grow up with, because I never got the idea as a kid that anger was something to manage–because my dad did not bother to manage his at home and daddy was perfect, so what he’s doing must be OK.

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  7. “to be educate believers in faith and morals so they can exercise the self-mastery needed for holiness.”

    should be “to educate believers” not “to be educate”

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  8. “It would be helpful if somebody would define emotion in these discussions. So weeping when you’re sad or afraid is being unforgivably emotional, but getting angry and yelling in text (see sipcode’s tirades) is being rational?”

    Emotions in themselves aren’t bad. (or dangerous as Donal Graeme called them in a recent post) It’s how we react to them through our reason and will that can lead to very good actions like self-sacrificial love or very bad actions like murder as a result of rage. A person who has received a decent education in moral development with a healthy dose of sentiment that is geared towards seeking the good is more likely to govern emotions properly and in the event that they fail, their conscience will lead them to seeking forgiveness and making reparation. Likewise, a person whose upbringing was disordered will have distorted reasoning when confronting their emotions and may also lack shame or guilt as a result of sin.

    The underlying assumption in the manosphere is that women are emotional and men are rational, therefore women need to be governed by men because they are not capable of rational thought in controlling their emotions. (or are very limited in this capacity and are at the level of children). This is not the Christian view. The Christian view is that both men and women are called to holiness and are capable of the self-mastery/discipline to become so IF they are open to cooperating with grace (no one can achieve it by their own power) It is the obligation of the Church and parents to their children to be educate believers in faith and morals so they can exercise the self-mastery needed for holiness.

    I don’t know anything about Jesus Calling and what kind of teaching is taking place but if the teaching is sound and the emotions it generates motivates good choices and actions, then there is nothing morally wrong with it. The only danger could be getting addicted to the emotional highs generated by these conferences and despairing that you’ve lost your faith if you don’t always feel strong emotions

    Liked by 1 person

  9. Stone said:

    “For all the talk of femininity they sure prefer to put on the tough, masculine, stoic face when it comes to emotions.”

    Right. And without even the approved masculine outlet of anger. (Although, I suppose women are allowed to vent their frustrations by beating the kids while being sugar and spice to husband.)

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  10. For all the talk of femininity they sure prefer to put on the tough, masculine, stoic face when it comes to emotions. Its the weaker men who dislike female emotions, who are afraid of them in the same way they are afraid of nuclear rejection.

    Liked by 1 person

  11. Eavan said:

    “It would be helpful if somebody would define emotion in these discussions. So weeping when you’re sad or afraid is being unforgivably emotional, but getting angry and yelling in text (see sipcode’s tirades) is being rational?”

    Right.

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  12. It would be helpful if somebody would define emotion in these discussions. So weeping when you’re sad or afraid is being unforgivably emotional, but getting angry and yelling in text (see sipcode’s tirades) is being rational?

    Every human feels – it’s just that men tend to dislike the way women express emotion and women tend to dislike the way men express (or suppress in some cases) emotion. Self-styled Godly women also tend to strongly dislike the feminine form of expressing emotion and it’s an easy target for their sermonizing.

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  13. insanitybytes22 said:

    “Also. It’s really unbiblical. Read the song of songs or David’s lamentations. They are plumb full of feelings.”

    Right. The stiff upper lip isn’t actually a Biblical thing.

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  14. I’ve been round and round that bit of rubbish for years now, but to no avail. It’s actually really dangerous and unhealthy to instruct women to disconnect from our feelings. Self control is awesome, learning how to resolve our feelings is good, but without the warm fuzziness, we’re unable to love defiant kids and ugly men.

    Also. It’s really unbiblical. Read the song of songs or David’s lamentations. They are plumb full of feelings.

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  15. “Women are suppose to kick back and play dumb, while he spots all these things.”

    If I’d done that, we’d have ended up in bankruptcy several times over. Instead I am un-godly and we haven’t lost our house.

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  16. “After that woman quoted all that stuff, what does she do — goes right back to quoting like mad…..ho hum.”

    What I meant to say is that after the commenter gave some hard facts, all Lori could do was go on quoting and had nothing tangible or reasonable to offer.

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  17. “You will have to take this up with the Lord, Michelle, since He is the one who said we are more easily deceived.”

    Don’t you just love this backpedaling? You do have to admit that it’s something to give a good laugh. After that woman quoted all that stuff, what does she do — goes right back to quoting like mad…..ho hum.

    “If you want to grow strong in the wisdom and the knowledge of the Lord, the only path is through His Word, not feel-good, warm and fuzzy devotionals, female preachers, emotions, and books.”

    OK, Lori, then what were you doing at a retreat led by Carol Hopson? Isn’t she a woman? And why do you lecture away about Debi Pearl’s book? Isn’t she a woman?

    “If they don’t feel in love with their husbands, they will often divorce them to find another man they might feel in love with.”

    Ahem….I happen to know a number of women who wake up each day to make the intellectual decision to love their husbands for the next twenty-four hours. The twenty-four hour trick was taught by the late Mother Angelica, PCPA, foundress of EWTN. She said in one of her radio broadcasts that if you’re faced with a very difficult situation, only think about it in terms of the twenty-four hour period, not in terms of days, weeks, months or years, because that is what can discourage us the most. Ask each day for the grace for the next twenty-four hours.

    And by the way, that woman was NO wimp or weak woman! And the women who do this every-single-day, Lori, are NOT wimps and weak and emotional, either. In fact, the great majority of women in history have been the glue that held the family together in the worst of times — BECAUSE IT WAS THE RIGHT THING TO DO. Overly emotional? Puh-leeze.

    “They may not even feel that they love one of their children but they must regardless of their feelings.”

    News flash, Lori — love is a verb and therefore an act of the will. It’s not a noun, a thing or a being. It’s a movement of will and intellect primarily. Anybody with even one brain cell that is working knows this. Otherwise, how could we love our enemies? We all know this, so there is no need to beat a dead horse.

    “Women love to feel emotional over the Lord and His Word.”

    St. Teresa of Avila, the great Carmelite reformer, suffered incredibly both physically and spiritually, and she used all those opportunities to grow in holiness. If you bothered to read any mystical writings, you’d know that Catholic theology and reformers speak of spiritual desolation and spiritual consolation. Spiritual consolation is the closeness of God to the soul giving the person a foretaste of heaven and spiritual joy. Spiritual desolation is the soul feeling like God is distant, with temptations to despair, sin, hopelessness, etc. and it is during these times that the soul experiences the greatest graces and spiritual growth. It is also advised during this time to never make any changes in your life because the devil is being permitted to tempt you in order for you to make greater spiritual progress. Those who take the time to read the great spiritual classics that you condemn will understand this and realize that there are highs and lows in the spiritual life.

    Of course, I am not advocating any of the modern books like “Jesus Calling” or anything like that; I have seen them and I would have to agree they are on the “fluffy” side (but again that’s an opinion). I’m thinking more along the lines of St. Teresa, St. John of the Cross, St. Francis de Sales (Introduction to the Devout Life), St. Thomas a Kempis (My Imitation of Christ), etc. Those are great spiritual books and ones that all can read with profit, I think. Recently I was introduced to Christian Perfection by Rodriguez — whew, heady stuff. That one is harder to read.

    Emotional and feel-good? Hardly.

    Well, you can say, as I said earlier, she can be pretty amusing and give you a good laugh.

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  18. Actually I think what probably would make all this not falling from scams so ungodly is that the husband didn’t spot the deception. Women are suppose to kick back and play dumb, while he spots all these things.

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  19. By the looks of this exchange I am thinking now that it is godly to be scammed. The bible says women are to be easily deceived. So, us women better hop to and start being deceived more!

    Michelle · 2 hours ago
    I can agree that women are more emotional, but I don’t think that makes women dumb or “easily deceived”. I know I am not deceived too easily. I recently caught a ransomeware scam on my son’s tablet that said he needed to pay a fine due to “illegal activity” and demanded payment or the case would-be referred to court. I called a local computer store to find out how to get rid of the virus. I did not need my husband or a man to tell me it was a scam.
    I also switched car repair places when I suspected they were encouraging unnecessary repairs.

    My 64 year old mother was not fooled and reported a scam when someone called claiming to be from the IRS saying she owed delinquent taxes.

    When the BIble says we are the weaker sex, it means physically.

    Also, remember the BIble says Adam was “with her” when Eve ate. He was just as at fault. Eve was not the only one responsible.
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    1 reply · active 2 hours ago
    Lori Alexander’s avatar – Go to profile
    Lori Alexander · 2 hours ago
    You will have to take this up with the Lord, Michelle, since He is the one who said we are more easily deceived.

    “But I do not allow a woman to teach or exercise authority over a man, but to remain quiet.” (1 Tim. 2:12)

    Why?
    “For it was Adam who was first created, and then Eve. And it was not Adam who was deceived, but the woman being deceived, fell into transgression.” (1 Tim. 2:13, 14)

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