This comment was posted on “The Transformed Wife’s” (Lori Alexander) facebook last night and was quickly deleted by Lori. My heart is heavy and sick to see this woman so easily dismissed.
” I am a daughter of a former evangelical pastor and pastors wife. I have some real issues with some of the things you post. I started following you, because I do think that you have good intentions, however your delivery is not choice and you are very misguided on some things. I am a 26 year old woman, and I am sure in the classification of older women setting an example for me. You aren’t…you are doing the exact opposite that you are hoping to achieve. My father is a porn and sex addict. My mother was a stay at home mom, my entire life. Wives are just supposed to sit by and smile, never question, always be gentle, and allow the husband to do what he pleases? To let him answer to God and not his wife or family? At what point do you draw a line? When he gives his wife an STD? When he decides to molest his kids? When he starts physically and verbally abusing? What I’ve put together from you is that divorce is not an option? No, no, you are so wrong. God did not intend for a woman to be walked all over and have no voice whatsoever. Men are to love their wife as Christ loves the church. Women are supposed to never have a harsh word? No, no, you are wrong. What about when Christ walked into the temple, turned over tables after he made the whip he used in the temple? You have offended me and many other women, reopening wounds of women and denying them the ability to heal. I was raised in a home where my mother showed me the ropes of being a loving and serving wife. A marriage goes both ways. I do my very best to alleviate my partner of his stress and he does the same for me. It is not meant for women to carry the marriage, while the husband is out screwing everything in sight. You have a distorted view on a lot of things and I pray that you are able to consider another woman’s perspective and thoughts, and that your interpretation of scripture(s) is not entirely accurate; to quit shooting down women that have different thoughts than your own…thoughts which just might be more scripturally accurate than your own understanding. I am personally choosing to no longer follow you. My mother and I have spiritual rights and you have trampled on anything just. God gives grace and mercy, but sin comes with consequences. You practically excuse men’s lust and behavior, but we are supposed to sit down and shut up, never question a thing, because God “made them leader of the house.” What about if the man won’t step up as the leader? What then? I am so hurt from some of the things you have said, I have run some of this by my Godly mother, who is also a certified CHRISTIAN counselor and she is absolutely mortified at some of the things you are preaching….and remember I come from an evangelical background. A pastor’s kid, for many years. Learned so much from my parents marriage or lack thereof. Please reconsider and evaluate some of the things you choose to post on here. God bless you and and all the other women on here. I hope some of you ladies are able to find some solace in some of the things that I have expressed. Unless women personally go through what many of you silently sit back and struggle with, they will never get it. I get it and I get you. I get your hurts and pain. I get the betrayal you feel and rightfully so. I get it and my heart hurts for you. I hope you find peace and comfort. Don’t be afraid to speak. You have a voice too. God did not create women to be less than a man, he created us to be counterparts. – From a 26 year old daughter of a broken pastor’s home. The daughter of a mother who has held onto her cheating and abusive husband. My mom is far from perfect, but does not justify the things you have stated, whatsoever. From the daughter of a miserable family. Shame on you for shunning women and excusing a man’s behavior. The lack of accountability is sick. In some marriages trying harder does not engender a reciprocal response. It has the opposite effect.It feeds a fantasy that a woman’s sole purpose is to serve her husband, make him happy and meet his every need. It feeds entitlement and deception that the world is all about him! Some people are not “won over” which is why Matthew instructs us what to do when they are not won over.”
That’s right, once again, anyone who shares a different life experience or different opinion is a troll. So, this woman’s pain and experience gets silenced. Is it any wonder women are left running to feminists to share their stories and be heard when those in their own “Christian” communities dismiss them as trolls. My bet is the above quotes will be deleted very shortly and those who don’t closely follow will be none the wiser. No Christian empathy or compassion at all here.