Angry Bird · Feminist Bird · Traditionalist Bird

My Teamwork is Better than your Teamwork

From Lori Alexander:

teamwork

Only in our first world of privilege do we get to debate about whose version of teamwork is better. It is so silly. My complementary teamwork is better than your egalitarian teamwork because it comes from God! Ugh, the arrogance. How about everyone just do whatever you have to do to get stuff done. As long as the people working as a team get along and are productive at achieving their ends, that is successful teamwork. The manosphere though lately seems to reject both forms of teamwork (or at least the theories of egalitarianism and complementary separate from teamwork) . Egalitarian is definitely feminist and complementary is feminism is disguise.  For those deeply committed to one ideology or another, teamwork has to come in a certain form or else it doesn’t count.

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14 thoughts on “My Teamwork is Better than your Teamwork

  1. Look at some of the comments to this:

    Ashley:
    “I must be doing this all wrong. I can’t have children or I would have a house full of them. So does this mean I am not doing the will of God for my life because I choose to work outside the home and contribute financially to our home. can you chime in here and add some clarification for me? I always thought that I was honoring God and my husband with the contributions that I am able to make in spite of us not being able to have children.”

    Heartbreaking. Godly women doing what they do best, causing doubt and making women think they aren’t good enough.

    The Transformed Wife:
    “Ashley, if you can’t have children you can still adopt or foster children. There are so many children in need of a mother and father, a family. Women were created to nurture, not provide.”

    I guess that means, no, Ashley isn’t doing God’s will. She better hurry up and adopt!

    Beth: “It takes a village to raise a child. You are an awesome “mothering” role model to your nieces and nephews. But furthermore to you brother and sister. You all lost one of the best role models as your mother went to be with Jesus. …

    Ashley:
    Oh Beth, thank you so very much for your kind words! I needed to hear that this afternoon.

    Who is the one encouraging and building women up here? Its not the godly mentor.

    The Transformed Wife:
    “Beth, it doesn’t take a village to raise a child. This isn’t a biblical precept. It takes a mother and father committed to the ways of the Lord to raise godly offspring.

    I don’t like that phrase either as its so Hillary and liberal, but it does take HELP no matter how you slice it…and for example, if your husband is away 12-14 hours a day, on business trips, etc, it takes more than just the mom.
    And what the hell is with “offspring”. I see that a lot with Christians. When talking about abortion, we aren’t to refer to the child as an “embryo” as it reduces it all to cheap biology. But when talking about our children…yeah offspring…who in every day discourse says “I have 2 offspring”. Godly women and Crush the turtle (Finding Nemo reference).

    Jennifer:
    It doesn’t take a village to raise a child but for some women it takes a housekeeper and a nanny.

    The Transformed Wife:
    Jennifer, yes and this is sad. All children would chose to be raised by their mother and not a housekeeper or nanny.

    Says the woman who had a nanny herself and I think a housekeeper!!

    Missy: Ashley you are an EXCELLENT Godly example to your nieces and nephews, filling in some of the things where their parents can’t. Chin up and keep on doing what you’re doing. 😍 Love you.
    1 min

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  2. oh and this!

    Adrienne :
    Just remember that the ability to stay home with your kids is a privilege afforded only to the few.

    The Transformed Wife:
    Adrienne, yes this is lie you have been told. There are countless mothers who have decided to live under poverty levels to be home with their children. They don’t have iPhones, internet, cable, fancy homes or cars but their homes are filled with love and warmth. They have hot water, warm beds, food in their bellies, and clothes on their back and live with a thankful attitude for nothing is impossible with the Lord.

    You got that? Godly women, real women, decide to live below poverty! How easy for Lori to say with her iphone and all.

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  3. I wonder if the idea that God instills certain features of culture ever came to mind? Sometimes culture isn’t bad, and the way we’re influenced by culture is often not in our control, but it’s part of who we are.

    I also don’t understand how sending a message like that is going to prevent adversarial culture in a marriage, rather than unity. Ideas like teamwork, partnership, etc. are simply ideas of how to conceptualize a marriage– they aren’t the end-all, be-all of marriage and certainly don’t remove God. It’s probably best to not pay attention.

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  4. There are other ways of nuturing others besides being a parent. Not all women are naturally nurturing but if Ashley is one of them, how do we know she’s not putting that to use in her work? She may very well work with children, the elderly, the ill. If not, she may still be nurturing to those she works with by caring about them beyond just being a co-worker, helping them in some way outside of work with something going on in their life or maybe she does volunteer work in her spare time. Perhaps the money she earns allows her to donate to worthy causes more than those who are raising a family. Or maybe she really IS a blessing in her family as an aunt and can provide that support system that parents really need.

    Yes, mothering and fathering are important ways in which we do God’s will but God’s will reaches beyond that and who is Lori or anyone else to determine what God’s will is for her life?

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  5. Ashley should be consulting her husband, not Lori. That’s the #1 problem with a lot of this– why do all of these women need to get her approval or clarification??

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  6. Note that Lori’s description of her division of labor is not actually Biblical.

    Somebody find for me chapter and verse where “fixing things” is deemed a man’s job in the Bible or where making doctor’s is a woman’s job.

    I’m not saying it’s a bad division of labor–it’s just not in the Bible.

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  7. Right, and about fixing things, when husband is away at work or out of town, often wives have to fix quite a few things! In the working world if you say something is “outside of your job duties” or “not in my job(role) description” you will be accused of not being a team players and its probably one strike against you to be fired because you aren’t being a good TEAM player. For those who believe in the strict division of labor they are basically saying just that. A man will say “cooking isn’t in my job description” and a woman will say “fixing that plumbing problem isn’t in my job descripton”. So they will huff and puff and nothing will get done lest they commit the sin of going outside of their defined “biblical” roles. Sometimes you have to go outside of your regular roles or job to get things done for the bigger picture. This is called teamwork.

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  8. “Ashley should be consulting her husband, not Lori. That’s the #1 problem with a lot of this– why do all of these women need to get her approval or clarification??”

    This will always be the million dollar question. I suspect its partly herd mentality on the other end. Women want the approval and to fit in with other women more so than they may even want their husband’s approval. It doesn’t just happen in the feminist world.

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  9. Stone said:

    “A man will say “cooking isn’t in my job description” and a woman will say “fixing that plumbing problem isn’t in my job descripton”. So they will huff and puff and nothing will get done lest they commit the sin of going outside of their defined “biblical” roles. Sometimes you have to go outside of your regular roles or job to get things done for the bigger picture. This is called teamwork.”

    My last pregnancy, my husband had to take over the laundry for half a year.

    Stuff happens.

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  10. Stone said:

    “This will always be the million dollar question. I suspect its partly herd mentality on the other end. Women want the approval and to fit in with other women more so than they may even want their husband’s approval. It doesn’t just happen in the feminist world.”

    Yep.

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  11. It sure would be a bummer, wouldn’t it, if either spouse got sick or injured and the other couldn’t/wasn’t supposed to fill in?

    Also, where is the place for help from children in Lori’s division of labor?

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  12. “It takes a village to raise a child”is an African proverb. It acknowledges that parents should raise their children in helpful, family friendly communities instead of two parents trying to do it all on their own. This is also a lot more like how children would’ve been raised in biblical times than anything Lori has suggested.

    Also in Bible women contributed financially to their households! I would say that Lori is confusing the Bible with an episode of the Donna Reed Show, but Donna had a housekeeper.

    Liked by 1 person

  13. Re: Nonya’s comment,

    For real! Just look at the story of Jesus at 12 years of age getting left behind by his parents. I’m sire Mary and Joseph must have been some ungodly, unloving parents because they didn’t worry about him until a day or so into their return trip!! Or could it be that in those times, family and community were helping each other at a level we can’t even comprehend in our uber-independent, American brains?!

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  14. nicoustical said:

    “Just look at the story of Jesus at 12 years of age getting left behind by his parents.”

    You’re totally right–that story doesn’t make sense if Jesus’s parents were helicoptering him non-stop.

    Like

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