Feminist Bird

What a Reasonable and Crazy Feminist Look Like

This is a decent article by a feminist talking about the values of homemaking and how feminists have really let women down by not preparing women to be mothers.

The author says, “For many women, their journey will naturally lead them to a period of stay in the home, caring for children. Whether that time is only a few months, or for several decades, they need to be prepared. They need to be given the skills they need to succeed and they need to be taught that their work is valuable.”  It is no surprise though when feminism is not really focused on helping women be and grow as women (despite their claims), but rather turning women into men. So, of course maternal preparation has been neglected.

Further, “We then wonder why, when these girls become women who turn into mothers, they suffer from depression, anxiety and struggle to find a sense of self or identity. Are we truly helping women get ahead, or are we instead setting them up for a future of self doubt and a sense of failure?”

Indeed the fact that women will most likely become mothers at some point is often swept under the rug. Its assumed we are just suppose to know what to do, yet motherhood can easily feel like the most unnatural natural experience out there. Although maybe it only feels so unnatural because we are raised to be men from a very young age. From a secular standpoint, there virtually is no preparation. To get that preparation you have to enter the world of the godlies and that can be a whole other anxiety inducing experience when you are not raised in that world and enter as an outsider.

For those interested they can read the rest of the article I linked to in the start as there are some other good morsels from what seems like a reasonable feminist.

For now, I want to turn the attention over to what a batshit crazy feminist looks like via these facebook comments in response to this article. They are written by a woman I loosely knew many years ago.  Brace yourself as these are by far the most nasty remarks I have seen a woman write about her husband and to the manosphere’s credit totally justifies a lot of the stuff they write.

comment1

I don’t want to go all RPW and start ruminating about people I kinda know in real life, but DAMN!  I have no sympathy or “benefit of the doubt” for this woman as I have watched her for years publicly talk shit about her husband and it looks like it is all coming to a head now.  This is the same woman who goes on tear after tear over President Trump as well (as if you wouldn’t have guessed). If ever someone deserves to be divorced, alone and bitter, it is her. It sounds like she is gearing herself up for divorce. Going “xena warrior princess” she is about to bring down the axe, the hammer. She is using her real name to say all these things publicly and her idolized career involves heavy community involvement. I have doubts she is even as “high earning” as she says she is based on what I know. No shit, the more you put in a career the worse it gets at home. ARGH!!! You have to pick one and she clearly values her supposedly “high earning” career over the husband and children.

comment2

I can’t even begin to start with this part….

This reignites my fire against feminism and what it does to women (I’ve been burnt out on the topic for awhile). Although, I wonder if this a bit of a chicken and egg riddle. Did feminism cause her to be this crazy or did her crazies make feminism the evil it appears to be? Crazy women or control freak women seeking to dominate have been around since the dawn of time and they filter through to all ideologies as I have discovered with traditionalism (a more discreet type of crazy though). What makes women this angry is a deeper problem than whatever ideology they take up to exacerbate their crazies.

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7 thoughts on “What a Reasonable and Crazy Feminist Look Like

  1. Provision is protection, to a large extent. The man doesn’t have to make all the money, or even necessarily most of it, but if he’s not invested in the idea of provision as a major thing he’s supposed to do, it’s hard for many women to keep living with him for decades on end, especially if kids come into the picture. I live in an area where male provision is very optional and there’s a lot more divorce and volatile on/off cohabitation.

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  2. I believe that women can be very sexually attracted to men that they don’t respect much and respect men that they could never find sexually attractive.

    Sexual attraction doesn’t seem to be enough to keep most women married. I know a woman who divorced her very attractive but chronically broke husband, but still had sex with him from time to time. She kept that up until she remarried. A poor provider is a deal breaker for a lot of women, but what they consider poor will vary.

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  3. “A man who earns less than his own wife is probably not going to be highly respected by anyone.”

    I think that is true if she isn’t deeply attracted to him. The money and job is the one thing that keeps a woman with man she already is so-so attracted too. When a job is lost and she isn’t really attracted, and the stress of having to do everything….yeah I can see where that can go…
    One point the sphere makes though is a man sometimes doesn’t have control over what he makes. If he is passed over for promotion for a woman or is laid off, what can he do? There is a point there, but then I always think the dominant men always find a way to survive. They will go out and take charge and do whatever they have to do to provide or reinvent themselves.

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  4. She was a stay at home mom for at least six years. So he either all of a sudden lost income or she just wanted to take the career back up. I think its a case of he makes decent money, but they live an extravagant lifestyle. So, probably anger that he can’t make enough to keep up with all the materialism. She has always been very career driven though as I have seen her comments over the years. Whatever the case, still no excuse to go on a public tirade against him. As if that is going to help anything.

    “Men believe the “have it all” lies as well, so they imagine a life where the house is clean, the children are well raised and a homemade dinner is on the table every night while their wives help them pay the bills and they don’t do much more than go to work and mow the lawn.”

    Yes, and that is what I liked in the article. The reasonable feminist pointed out that men need to learn the value of homemaking too. I would even argue that the reason why more women aren’t at home has more to do with the man than the woman clinging to a career. I think a good deal of woman would be ecstatic if husband said she could stay home as most jobs aren’t glamorous (not like being a mom is though, but at least you can be your own boss).

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  5. If the crazy feminist is telling the truth about having to be both the main provider and the homemaker then she has good reason to be upset. Women are lied to before they get married and have children so they think that they can actually have it all, at the same time. She probably thought that her husband would pick up half the housework and childcare because she has a job and that it would be easy. Men believe the “have it all” lies as well, so they imagine a life where the house is clean, the children are well raised and a homemade dinner is on the table every night while their wives help them pay the bills and they don’t do much more than go to work and mow the lawn. When things don’t work out, they start blaming each other instead of realizing that they both bought into a lie and need to adjust their expectations.

    It is hard, even for Christian wives, to respect a man who can’t support his own family well. (That’s not to say that it shouldn’t be done.) I’ve noticed that the less success that a man achieves in his career, the more respect and deference and control he demands at home. The husbands who are stomping around the house complaining about their wives’ kitchen organization and refusing to so much as fold a basket of laundry probably don’t have much power in the workplace. A man who earns less than his own wife is probably not going to be highly respected by anyone. He knows it and he’s going to take that out on his wife as if it is her fault that she’s better at masculine things than he is.

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  6. You’re also, come to think of it, not going to learn a lot that’s useful from the godlies about dealing with in-law issues or family of origin issues.

    They just don’t have a lot of good ideas for dealing with relationships where total obedience is not a plausible recommendation.

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  7. ” yet motherhood can easily feel like the most unnatural natural experience out there. Although maybe it only feels so unnatural because we are raised to be men from a very young age.”

    Yes and no. I had a fair amount of home responsibilities as a kid and two younger siblings–and yet having a toddler and being pregnant and then having two little kids plus home responsibilities came as quite the shock. (I had been initially rather smug about what a great homemaker and mother I was with the one infant.)

    Plus, it’s a different thing to do discrete household/childcare tasks and to do them one at a time, as opposed to having to multitask and being responsible for the whole shebang.

    Also, a lot of people who are attempting to have larger families are not from large families, or are youngest children and have only the haziest idea of what the initial years look like. (I have to confess that when I initially imagined homeschooling my 4-6 children, I envisioned that they would be born 8 years old.) Furthermore, not only are a lot of us from small families–our parents and in-laws are often from small families, too–so they don’t really know either.

    “To get that preparation you have to enter the world of the godlies and that can be a whole other anxiety inducing experience when you are not raised in that world and enter as an outsider.”

    While the godlies have lots of advice on how to feed your growing brood on cattle feed and how you can save time and money by never leaving the house, there are a lot of areas where they are much less helpful–for example, recognizing postpartum depression, not falling into mom cults, not accidentally engaging in competitive or other antisocial behavior with other new mothers, being a good friend, making good use of your pediatrician, how to help your children make friends, how to reach win-win solutions with your husband, and how to do right by your autistic (or otherwise disabled) child. All in all, I’m not really that impressed with the godlies.

    More in a bit!

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