From Trey on this post (see post for full comment):
It is unfortunate that your husband (like me and most other men of our generation) have also been so negatively effected by feminism. We were not taught Godly manhood (and I grew up in the church) anymore than most women these days were taught Godly womanhood but whether your husband knows it or not (or wants it or not), God has put him in charge over you and your family and he is called to lead. You are called to follow and submit to him in everything. Even if your husband is not leading, you are called to follow. As good as you claim your marriage to be, it can be better. Nothing is better than doing it God’s way.
How can a woman follow if he is not leading? What does this look like if he gives her no direction whatsoever? If he tells her to make the decisions, essentially be the leader, is she being the leader or the follower then? He is putting her in charge of the ship, she is is following his command, but on the other hand God has not called for to be in charge of the ship.
As I was working on this post Trey left another comment, which I imagine is the answer:
I can’t speak for all husbands (of course) but for myself, I never wanted to (and still don’t want to have to) tell my wife what to do. I want her to do what she is supposed to do without having to be told. That is a true test of submission. Doing what you are told to do is obedience, figuring out what you are supposed to do (without being told) and doing it is submission. God calls for submission first, then also for obedience where it is necessary.
In other words he doesn’t want to lead or be that “command man”. There is a difference though in being “bossy” or “domineering” and being a “leader” and “dominant”. Its good if he doesn’t want to be bossy, but given the history of his comments, I think he just doesn’t want to be a leader wither and wants women to sort it all out on their own. Women are suppose to be mind readers. True submission is figuring out what your husband wants when he gives no direction. Obedience is easy to figure out and comply with because you have clear instructions, so that is nice and all, but to earn real bonus points, to be truly submissive, you have to figure out his instructions without being told. I can see how after time this can be easily done as you get to know your husband’s likes and dislikes more and more. However, in the beginning wives will most likely need clear instructions, clear leadership until she can be the submissive mind reader. If a wife doesn’t get that in the beginning, I don’t know what she is suppose to do.
In light of Lori’s post title (“Why Disobeying our Husband Blaspheme the Word of God”) it really should be “Why not being truly submissive Blaspheme the Word of God”. In other words, “Why Not Figuring it Out on Your Own Blaspheme the Word of God”.