Godly Women · Traditionalist Bird

Devaluing Woman’s Work

Lori shares this fake story today with what she calls true facts as to how women are. This is a part of it:

“Sue and Jim have been married for fifteen years. They have four children ages six, eight, ten, and twelve. Sue is a stay-at-home wife. She is a rebellious wife. She doesn’t keep the home clean. She doesn’t fix Jim meals after he gets home from working ten hard hours at work trying to provide a living for his family. She doesn’t do his laundry. She hasn’t given him sex for six years, since the last child was conceived. She uses foul language often and is a very bitter woman towards Jim.”

I am not going to really talk about her post, but in reading it the line I bolded made me think of something. Wow, the poor guy. Having to work 10 hard hours! In the life of a sahm we have to work 24/7 basically. We are always “on” so to speak.  This made me realize that godly women, traditionalists, etc, really devalue woman’s work at home when men are always puffed up to be catered to left and right for their 10 or so hours they put into provide (10 hours that is with break and lunch times and not to mention the commute where you can unwind). While on the other hand if  a woman wants the slightest of break or time for herself or simply the luxury of having a hot meal or a peaceful poop for her 15-24 hours, it is deemed selfish.  He may be working hard to provide but she is also working hard to raise his children? Doesn’t that count for anything?  It implies his 10 hard hours are valuable and hers are not. As if her hours aren’t hard, which further fosters the stereotype that staying at home consists of laying around on the couch all day watching TV.

Men are suppose to be the stronger sex, but I am not so sure if 10 hours really just wipes them out.

If women are really doing something wonderful in staying home, raising children, homeschool, etc. that amount of work needs to be recognized just as women recognize men’s work.

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7 thoughts on “Devaluing Woman’s Work

  1. “If men get catered too all the time for bringing home a paycheck it sure makes women want to go out and and work so they can get the same sort of appreciation.”

    AMEN to that. Couldn’t have said it better.

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  2. Stone said:

    “Right, traditionalists complain about how society doesn’t value moms anymore, especially the stay at home mom. Yet they do a lot to keep that view going strong by not acknowledging that woman’s work in the home deserves a break and nice gestures too. If men get catered too all the time for bringing home a paycheck it sure makes women want to go out and and work so they can get the same sort of appreciation.”

    Riiiight.

    I’ve certainly seen this in my own extended family.

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  3. “bringing home a paycheck counts as hard work, but managing children and a household does not.”

    Right, traditionalists complain about how society doesn’t value moms anymore, especially the stay at home mom. Yet they do a lot to keep that view going strong by not acknowledging that woman’s work in the home deserves a break and nice gestures too. If men get catered too all the time for bringing home a paycheck it sure makes women want to go out and and work so they can get the same sort of appreciation.

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  4. As I’m sure you’ve seen, Lori posted this post today, written by Ken: https://thetransformedwife.com/one-long-temper-tantrum/

    A few things:
    -Like Amy said, the Alexanders make no effort whatsoever to listen to/understand the wife’s point of view. Nope, if the home is a mess, and there’s no hot meal on the table when the husband arrives home, the wife is rebellious. It doesn’t matter that she may be tired or depressed. It doesn’t matter that she was up at 3 am breastfeeding, while her husband snored away. It doesn’t matter that she works just as many hours as her husband, if not more, caring for the children and managing the household. Nope, she’s automatically labeled “selfish.” And apparently, when she resents her husband’s entitled and judgmental attitude (“I deserve a clean house and a hot meal, why don’t I have a clean house and a hot meal?!”), then she’s throwing a tantrum.
    -Which leads me to the second point. The husband is the real tantrum-thrower here. On Lori’s blog, all I see is endless whining about women who “don’t meet their husband’s needs.” Forget about self-sacrificial love for one’s wife, as the Bible actually commands. It’s all about the husband and his “needs.” Because, as Stone said, bringing home a paycheck counts as hard work, but managing children and a household does not.
    -Lastly, a commenter said this:

    “Sounds like Jezebel needs to be binded!! That’s so sad!! Love our church cause our Pastor is on this hard core!! When I act up – hormones- my husband don’t play he calls it out and tells me I better respect… I think some guys are just TOO nice… time to clean the house of all open doors/windows… shut off all cable, cell phones, internet… take the tvs out… go back to the basics … don’t provide privileges for spoiled brats…”

    To which Lori replied, “I agree!”

    Which just goes to show you, Lori thinks it’s ok for husbands to treat their wives like spoiled children. Again, not a biblical idea in the slightest, and it reveals Lori’s deep lack of respect for women and their role as “keepers at home.” To her, marriage is little more than a relationship between father and daughter.

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  5. Once again, see the claim that if your husband cheated on you, you must have been a bad wife. No evidence to back this claim up, of course. Just the assumption that no man would ever be unfaithful to a good wife.

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  6. I feel like there’s got to be a lot more going on here.

    Some thoughts:

    –Is this lady homeschooling? If so, it starts making more sense why housekeeping is spiraling out of control with kids all being school-age.
    –Does her husband insist on a larger family? If so and there is some sort of disagreement about family planning, that would explain why their kids are 12, 10, 8, 6, and she hasn’t had sex with him since conceiving the youngest.
    –If he is working 10 hour days, it’s likely that he is rolling home well-past kid dinner time–perhaps 7ish or 8ish.
    –Also, kid afternoon and evening activities are often murder on family dinner time, even if each child only has one thing per school day evening.
    –Is there some sort of ongoing major disagreement? Like, doe he insist on homeschooling while she would like to quit, or she wants to quit having kids, does she want to quit being an SAHM, etc? A lot of behavior described here (like skipping his laundry) sounds like she has gone on strike.
    –Is there some sort of serious economic issue?
    –Notice that nobody has any interest in what this lady is mad about. As far as Lori and the woman’s husband are concerned, she’s just mad for no reason. Wouldn’t it be informative to hear what her grievances are?
    –If the kids are gone all during the school day and there’s absolutely no reason for her not to have a sparkly home and dinner on the table–perhaps she’s got some sort of mental health issues or deficiency? Has she had a physical recently and maybe done a depression screening? How’s her Vitamin D?

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