Godly Women · Traditionalist Bird

A Godly Definition of Discretion

The godlies have a funny way of defining discretion. Apparently, its OK to talk about your diarrhea in public with an endless audience, but flossing in front of your husband is a big NO-NO. Don’t you dare floss in front of your husband. That is not feminine.

 

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5 thoughts on “A Godly Definition of Discretion

  1. Good grief! My husband and I have no qualms whatsoever about going to the bathroom in front of each other, much less flossing. For us, it’s an expression of intimacy. I think if I felt pressure to actually take Lori’s advice here, it would make me feel miserable (trying to put on an “act of femininity” as Two-Cent Woman put it), but thankfully I have no temptation to take it seriously at all…

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  2. Hmm……well, I had my last two babies at home. The last one was a very difficult birth and I almost passed out several times (strong smelling salts were all that kept me awake). To keep it short, I couldn’t stand up, even with two people supporting me, for nearly forty-eight hours. My legs just collapsed underneath me. We kept trying and finally realized we just had to wait it out until I got stronger on my own. So…..for forty-eight hours, I could sit up in bed and take care of my baby with things that were close by for me (no walking or standing involved), but I couldn’t take care of myself — someone had to sponge bathe me and keep me clean, to put it delicately, and it was my husband who did it…..we couldn’t afford a live-in nurse for the few days and the midwife couldn’t be there for the entire time. There was no family near by who could do this; my mother is old and needed help for basic things as well due to arthritis. My husband had the paid time off for the birth, so he stepped up to the plate. It was like having two babies around for a while, and not only the tasks of taking care of me, but trying to get me on my feet every few hours, until finally I could walk.

    I can remember that like it was yesterday — it felt so humiliating to be so utterly helpless. He explained that this was part of “in sickness and in health” that we promised one another. He was funny as he was all worried about the cleanliness issue and he kept popping the thermometer into my mouth and if my temp. went up even a smidgen he was on the phone to the midwife.

    All the fundies who are really into home births probably have the same scenario. Lori never did homebirths, so she has no clue what they are like and the fact that the whole family is involved. Husbands are usually very involved. Sometimes he has to deliver the baby if the midwife doesn’t get there in time. I would venture to guess that husbands delivering their wives of babies was very common on the western frontier, and there wasn’t a lot of an opportunity to be very delicate about it.

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  3. She also says we should not sit in an unfeminine way in front of our husbands…but here there is a picture of her sitting in front of Ken with legs up on a chair wearing shorts…um yeah so feminine.
    https://www.amazon.com/gp/customer-reviews/R379SMNLTLB8UN/ref=cm_cr_arp_d_rvw_ttl?ie=UTF8&ASIN=099816870X

    The pumping milk is silly. Its the same as breastfeeding really except you look kinkier with all these wires and suction things attached to ya.

    Men are never given credit. Men are treated as kids who can’t speak up for what the need or like so women have to go to this godly mentors instead.

    Going to the bathroom in private is just the respectful thing to do whether man or woman, its not the wifely or submissive thing to do.

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  4. Also, why is pumping milk unfeminine? It certainly doesn’t look masculine. And do husband’s really only expect to see their wives sitting with their legs crossed at all times and are offended by seeing their wife sitting with them uncrossed while going to the bathroom? She doesn’t give men much credit to be able to discern between necessity of function in certain situations and what makes a woman, a woman regardless of posture or task.

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  5. Well, she’d probably say there is a difference between talking ABOUT it and actually DOING it in front of him. However, her advice is stupid.

    1) He already knows she experiences these bodily functions and while husband’s and wives probably don’t go out of their way to witness their spouse having them, just by living life with them, sometimes it can’t be helped.

    2) If a wife manages their whole married life to never have her husband witness these things, then what happens if she falls ill and needs help using the bathroom and he’s the only one there to help? Will she stick by her need to hold up a false view of what is feminine?

    3) Giving birth is VERY feminine but it’s not pretty, sweet, quiet or demure. Will your husband think you are less feminine because of it?

    4) It would be exhausting to put on some act of femininity your entire life. Women are feminine because they are women and there is a wide range of expression in womanhood as there is in manhood. It would certainly also be a burden to the spouse to have to live with someone who never showed their humanity or weakness. I could easily see a husband getting really frustrated by the locked bathroom door and denial of access because she is flossing her teeth of all things and he needs to use the toilet or grab his deodorant. As a matter of fact, blocking access to the bathroom seems like putting up a challenge which is more masculine than being welcoming. I never doubted my husband’s masculinity from witnessing various bodily functions why should he doubt mine?

    5) I don’t disagree with having a certain amount of discretion under most normal circumstances when you can pull it off and it’s not creating a burden but that doesn’t have anything to do with keeping up any appearances of femininity. Rather it just boils down to good manners and respect for the other person. Flossing at the dinner table while others are eating would lack discretion but at the bathroom sink while your spouse is in the room? Not a big deal.

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